Luau for Two is the second episode of the first season of Pee-wee's Playhouse. One of the more serious episodes of the series, the episode's focus is on what happens when you're taken advantage of and when people butter up to you as a way to gain something out of pure selfishness.
During a Picture Phone call with an over-the-phone game show called Big Question, Herman wins two tickets for dinner at a Hawaiian restaurant, Kalani Lanai. He is buttered up by everyone (even Conky, Chairry and Magic Screen, despite the fact that Conky in particular can't eat the same way humans do) in hopes of getting one of his tickets. Randy clues him in on the truth of why everyone is being so chummy with him, and the man-child is suddenly hit with a tidal wave of realization. As a result, he regrets ever winning to begin with. He very quickly gets so disgusted with all the phony and excessive flattery that he eventually confronts everyone about it in a very, very angry tone. When he wishes that everyone can all have Hawaiian food, Jambi creates a Playhouse luau.
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(Pee-Wee plays indoor golf. He takes a shot, but the ball misses the windmill and everyone cheers for him.)
Pee-wee: But I missed!
Conky 2000: But nobody misses like you do, Pee-wee.
(Pee-wee glares at Conky.)
Magic Screen: What style.
Chairry: What flair.
Randy: What a lotta hooey! Psst! Hey, Pee-wee, come here.
(Pee-wee walks up to him.)
Randy: Lemme straighten you out. Can't you see what's goin' on? Why do you think everyone's bein' so nice to ya?
Pee-wee: 'Cause they like me.
Randy: Ah, wise up, Pee-wee. Put two and two together. Everybody's bein' nice to you because they want you to take 'em to that dinner. That's the only reason.
Captain Carl: Chow time!
(Pee-Wee, having no other choice, loudly blows into Tito's silver lifeguard whistle, causing everyone to fall quiet. After ten seconds of silence, everyone starts to bicker again, until...)
Mrs. Steve: (to everyone, angrily) Be quiet! Pee-Wee has something to say. (to Pee-Wee, calmly) What is it, darling?
Pee-wee: (angrily) You know, I was really happy when I won that game show, but now... now I'm sorry I have ever won and I wish I hadn't!
Tito: Why, Pee-Wee? Why?!
Pee-wee: (angrily) Can't you all see what's going on here?! The only reason why you're being so nice to me is because you're all hungry for Hawaiian food! Well, go on! Here! HERE'S THE TICKETS!! If Hawaiian food is more important to you than my friendship with you then go ahead! Go on! TAKE 'EM!
(Pee-wee gestures the tickets to everyone, an angry look on his face.)
Mrs. Steve: (frightened) Well, if nobody else wants them... then I don't want them either. And besides, I just had my late lunch.
(Pee-Wee scares Carl with tape on his face)
Captain Carl: (frightened) AAAH! A MONSTER!
Pee-wee: No, Captain Carl, it's me, look! (takes off the tape) Ow! (giggles)
Captain Carl: You know, Pee-wee, there's a real twisted side to you.
Pee-wee: Thank you, Carl.
Captain Carl: You're welcome.
- Secret word: fun
- Connect the dots: Jack in the box
- Wish: For everyone to have a Hawaiian feast (at first, he wishes that he never won the game show to begin with due to everyone taking advantage of him, becoming very angry at everyone for doing so, but Jambi did not hear him).
- Only time that the old golden theater mask decorations speak.
- The secret word was said and screamed at a grand total of seven times. This is the lowest amount of times that the secret word has been used in the series.
- Cowboy Curtis does not appear in this episode, nor is he mentioned.
- This is the first time Herman uses a whistle to silence people and get their attention, using it to silence his friends' bickering. Second and final time is in The Gang's All Here when he uses a whistle (this time of his own possession) to silence the Playhouse Gang's noisy horseplay before harshly haranguing them on their misbehavior.
- This is the first time that Miss Yvonne uses her wiles to attempt to charm Herman into deciding something in her favor. The second time is in Heat Wave during Season 4 when she seduces him with compliments in a selfish attempt to bribe him into "ruling" in her favor (as they were playing a game of "courtroom trial" during the previous scene) in a heated dispute with Mrs. Rene over which one of two dresses is real and which one is fake. Like in the second instance, Herman refuses to fall for her manipulative behavior and harshly rebukes her for it.
- When Herman is confronting his friends on their selfish behavior, Conky can be clearly seen slightly lowering his head in shame along with the others, his camera flashbulb eyes drooping downwards slightly. The actor in the suit, Gregory Harrison in this case, normally is unable to completely do this as Conky's neck is short and that Gregory cannot normally turn his head and back while in costume.
- Apparently, the tickets that Herman won after winning Big Question are transferable, as he harshly hands the tickets to his friends after getting fed up with their phony and excessive flattery.
- When Herman is thinking about going to Hawaii, during the surfing sequence he says "cowabunga", a word often attributed to both Cookie Monster and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
- Chicky Baby and Dirty Dog call Miss Yvonne by name (without the "Miss") for the first and only time in this episode.
- When viewers see the clip of Pee-Wee playing indoor mini golf for the first time, they at first thought Pee-wee's club is a walking stick and he is pretending to be an old man.
- Tito clearly didn't realize that Herman had won the Hawaiian dinner tickets, so he should not have returned wearing the orange lei. Same with Mrs. Steve. Tito should also have not joined in the arguing himself; rather. he should have blown into his silver lifeguard whistle to silence everyone.